Chapter 1A - Suzy, Age 5

A little blond figure poked her head around the corner. She was so used to the noise, that she almost couldn’t stand the silence. She waited for what seemed like an eternity, but when she heard no one coming, she decided to make her move. Stepping back to take a breath, with her heart pounding in her chest, she quickly got up the nerve and started off.

Little Suzy was only five, but this was the moment that she had been waiting for! The kitchen was open, no one was around, and she had her chance to make a run for it. Although this house was different from the other six, it still didn’t feel like home. The people at this one actually seemed to care, but she knew that wouldn’t last - none of the other foster homes had before. So why would this one be any different?

With her garbage bag in hand, she sprinted into the kitchen, fearing that if she took too long, she would never make it. She had all of her possessions tucked neatly inside her bag, and now it was time to gather her last items: the cupcakes that were sitting on the counter.

The blue frosting looked so appealing, but she didn’t have time to spare. The fear of getting caught put a lump in her throat, and she quickly licked each one, claiming it as her own. She had never before had a cupcake. As she tasted that blue frosting, she realized that nothing had ever been so sweet and so delicious. She quickly decided to put them all into her bag, but couldn’t get the frosting off of her fingers and face. She had made a mess and it was all over now -

“What are you doing?” Cried a voice from behind.

Suzy froze, not knowing what to do! If she turned around now, Mom would know that she had taken the cupcakes. She had to think of a story to distract her. “I’m not doing nothing,” she said, trying to sound innocent and cheerful.

“Don’t you lie to me, little girl. I can smell that frosting on you from a mile away! Who said you could get a cupcake?” Mom quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the counter. There was frosting on her face, fingers, down her shirt, and all over her garbage bag. It didn’t really matter anyway, because it just blended in with the other stains that were already on her shirt. She had no answers, nothing else to stall Mom, so she tried to start crying.

“I’m not gonna put up with this nonsense!” Mom spanked her swiftly, and decidedly hard, on the thigh and pointed to the hallway. “Get in that bathtub so I can wash that crap off. When your Father gets home, you’re not gonna hear the end of this!”

Now the tears were really flowing. There was no sense in holding it back. She ran into the bathroom, but, rather than getting into the tub, she found her favorite hiding spot under the sink. If she could get in fast enough, she thought that maybe she could hide from Mom. But it was useless. Her trash bag of belongings was waiting beside the cabinet door and there was now frosting all over the door handle and the sink. Despite her best efforts to hide, she had left clues for Mom all over the bathroom.

“Suzy, if you don’t get out from underneath that sink, I’m gonna spank you again! Get out NOW!”

“NO!” Suzy cried, from within the cabinet. “You’re not gonna do it again. It hurts too much and you’re just a mean ol’ lady like all the rest!”

Mom opened the cabinet door and grabbed her by the arm. Without much effort, she wrenched her body free of the cabinet and put her into the shower. Not even bothering to remove her clothes, Mom turned on the shower and began to spray Suzy. The water was cold and the small, five-year-old girl began to shiver uncontrollably. Standing there, drenched with water, she kept telling herself that, if she had been faster, she could’ve escaped out the back door without Mom finding her.

Before she knew it Mom was dumping the rest of her belongings into the shower to be washed as well. Her toothbrush, extra shirt, and stuffed rabbit were floating in the pooling water at the bottom of the shower. Seeking some comfort, she bent down and picked up Mr. Rabbit and hugged him to keep him warm.

She began to silently speak to him, to comfort him and calm his fears. She longed for him to do the same for her, but he just felt cold there beside her.

“Why do you always have to make such a mess. Look, you got frosting all over your stuff and my house. And, you ruined all of my cupcakes! Those were for my mom’s seventieth birthday party, and now we have nothing. Nothing!”

Suzy knew not to respond to Mom. When she got like this, the smallest of words could illicit a slap in the face. So she stood there, wondering how long it would actually be until she could find a real home to stay in. Thus far, she had been through six other homes, and now, when she finally thought she had found a decent one, she gets spanked for just trying to feed herself.

Hope was lost. No one would ever take her.

Mom turned off the shower and began drying her off. She wrung out the rabbit and put him on the toilet to dry and started guiding Suzy to the bedroom.

“No! I need Mr. Rabbit. Please don’t put me back in there without him.”

“Mr. Rabbit,” Mother replied, “needs to dry off and so do you, little girl.”

“But I need him. I can’t sleep without him,” Suzy whined.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be doin’ much sleeping, knowing what you’re gonna get from your Dad. Better yet, I think I might actually get some peace and quiet when he gets home. I’ll leave you in there for awhile.”

“No!” Suzy yelled. “You can’t let him back in my room! You said it was my place. You said I could have it all to myself.”

“Well dear,” Mom said with a smirk on her face, “that was before you ruined my life.” She shoved Suzy into the dark room and quickly closed the door. As Mom walked away, she could hear Suzy pounding repeatedly on the door.

Inside, Suzy knew that all she could do was wait. Since the room was already dark, she crawled under the bed to try and hide from the terror that was to come.

Prologue

“Ya, he’ll be a dawg fo sho.” The gruff voice was the only one heard in the silent ICU nursery in the infant ward. As Carlos stood there watching his newborn son breathe through a ventilator, he determined that his son would soon grow to take his place within the gang.

The hospital was in his territory and the thought of insurance or payments never occurred to him. His lieutenant would take care of everything through their security guard contact. His baby would be able to stay until his condition was stable enough to return to the mother and he would begin instruction at the age of five. Carlos had plenty of children through various women, but this child came from the woman he loved.

“What’s his name?” A nurse said, walking in from behind him.

“Dunno, and it doesn’t matter. He’ll be known by his marks.” Despite knowing the nurse, personally, what was left unsaid was for her protection. He would be known by his distinguishing features - tattoos of identification - and he would be known by his actions left on the city.

To do anything besides leave a mark would make him weak. Carlos didn’t have weak children. Each of them was bred and raised to continue the tradition and mission of the gang. If not, they were cut from the group without so much as proper last rites. His family would be strong - his family was born strong.

One nameless baby born into the world.

--------------------

Across the city, in a reputable hospital, screaming could be heard throughout the birthing center. A mother was in the final throws of childbirth and the pain would soon be over.

“Breathe!” A nurse said. “It’s almost over, just stick with it!”

“I can’t!” Screamed Amy. She had had enough. Thirty-eight hours of labor had ended in one long, agonizing delivery process, and she had nothing left to give. “It’s no use, I have nothing left!”

“You can do it,” the nurse exclaimed, “the head is almost out!”

After another five, seemingly-endless seconds, there was a cry that sounded different than all the others. Her baby girl, wet and dirty, had just shouted her first words to the world. As she was fully delivered, the nurse quickly cleaned her and brought her around so Amy could see her.

“She’s beautiful,” panted Amy.

“What will you call her?” the nurse asked.

“If I knew who her father was, I’d ask him for the name. But I don’t, and it all just seems a waste now.” Amy had gone back to ask each of the guys that she knew she had slept with, but none would say anything to give her much hope. As she sat silently in despair, she contemplated any reason for continuing on.

“She’s losing a lot of blood!” the nurse shouted into the hallway, trying to attract more attention into the room. They were so busy and short-staffed, so any help that she could find would be distracted. She quickly ran into the hall to get a doctor, but as she returned, there the baby lay, silently on her mother’s still chest.

Another nameless one.